Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
