My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
