I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Come share oat with me in your robe
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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