omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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