dude i'm inner monologue high
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
