just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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