she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
