***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Someone shattered a urinal.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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