I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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