Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
