in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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