Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize