Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
