I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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