the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
