What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
