Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
