I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize