all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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