dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
