I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
