yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize