____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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