ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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