they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
