I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think my fart just growled at me.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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