That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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