jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
