Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Every concussion has its silver lining
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
