Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
