omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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