sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
