hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
