Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
