Hey man sorry I got all grabby
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
