she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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