Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
