Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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