There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
