Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
