I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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