Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
