I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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