the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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