matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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