dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
No more Irish car bombs ever.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
