i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
