I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
