I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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