you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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