In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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