we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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