Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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