porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
