That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
