you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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