Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
