Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
