1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
