He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize