She said her name was "party"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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