pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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