yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
