So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
