I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
