need another drink. this is the easiest way
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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