I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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