its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize