last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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