carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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