Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize