Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
