I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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